Liar

Dealing with a Liar
Liars come in all shapes, sizes and ages, just like lies. Some have no point, and you wonder why they even bothered to tell the lie, usually those are harmless. You have your typical kid lies, I’m sure we all know examples of that. Then you have real lies, ones that can effect lives and be hurtful.
I think liars believe what comes out of their mouth, maybe not at first, but overtime they start to think what they are saying is the truth. You cannot argue with these types of people, it’s how they remember events. Having one around can be difficult and you can get to the point where you dread having to be around them. They tell stories, often embellishing them with their own sprinkle of crap, no better way to put that huh?
So what do you do if you are around a liar? I can tell you that some people never change. I work with men and women at the end of their time. They may have spent their lives being a liar and you know what? That didn’t change because they got older, it is just the way they are. I have no problem calling out a liar. I can’t stand it. Candy coating your stores doesn’t help either; eventually everyone gets tired of that too.
Look at the big picture. Is it you? How do you realize this? Well I think if you have issues with others, not just 1 or 2, then maybe you want to look in the mirror and question your character and try to figure out why you do it. As a person who has dealt with a liar, I recommend you fess up, admit your wrongdoing, ask for forgiveness and move on, just don’t lie.
If that doesn’t work, what do you do? Personally, I distance myself from those types of people.

Blogging

Blogging – nowadays it seems everyone blogs, well almost anyone, and if they don’t blog they email or text. I have had many talks with my daughter about writing etiquette. I remind her often that you always need to think of what you will write carefully because once it is written you may regret it and then what can you do? Saying things and writing them are now different. Many times in conversation people may not remember the exact words but when in black and white you have no question about it. Things can be saved by the recipient and or reader so there is no disputing it.
That being said, blogging can be a good thing…at least I think so. If you have a public forum to display your writings than you should expect, others to read it, or at least hope. With my blog if something is on a personal level I try to keep it positive, even events that may have not been enjoyable. I think I have learned from all my experiences and relationships in life, making me a better person.
Hopefully this blog is helpful to at least one person, if not helpful maybe entertaining….yeah entertaining.

Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving, the traditional foods, Macy’s parade, fall décor, being with family & friends and having a day that is solely used to reflect on being thankful for all the blessings in life. Every Thanksgiving since 1991 I have worked, but no “poor you” needed because most of those years it was my choice to do so. Now it has become traditional and feels right for me to be there for the day to help make the meal smoother and more importantly pleasant. Knowing someone else has emptiness especially during a day that was once enjoyable for them motivates me to be more kind even if I am rushing around and somewhat stressed that things may not go the way I imagined. I know much of those feelings from the residents where I work result from personal losses over the years, not just of loved ones either, but the loss of preparing their meal, baking and maybe even hosting. Every year I will be with people who feel that way, some may even be negative to me because I am so happy. But I shrug it off and make the best of it. I think that those that join me to assist in some way come away with another meaning of Thanksgiving. Just because a person is surrounded by others does not mean they don’t feel alone so reach out to someone and not just on Thanksgiving.

Me at work this Thanksgiving with my mom and nephew

People that Mean A Lot

As you get older you learn what is more important and also who is important. Letting people know what they mean may be uncomfortable, but it doesn’t have to be verbal and in person. A personal note or even a card that has the right words works the same. We are not guaranteed a tomorrow nor is anyone else, so why wait to let someone know why you appreciate them or what you love about them. They may cherish these words for years to come and look back at them on a day they may need a smile. New Years could be a starting point to do this annually.
Photo taken at the beach this winter

Being Content

Learning to be content – boy if we could all do that what a happier place it would be. Growing up we didn’t have much and I appreciated everything. I even remember declining offers of material things from my Poppy because I felt bad having people buy things for us. As I became an adult I have enjoyed making small purchases like a person would buying something big. My kids are growing up differently, not with things handed to them, but it is easier.
When we bought our home that we live in now I was thrilled, it was like a dream house. Once we settled it was easy to see the things wrong with the place and over time get annoyed with the lack of funds to take care of it. I went through times of thinking “will I ever feel the same way about this house?” Looking back at the photos I took of the empty rooms after we signed the paper work I tried to remember how I felt. Now, 7 years later, I have that feeling. Of course things are still waiting to be taken care of but this is my home and I love it. I made a list of things I couldn’t stand about it and then things only this house had. The difference was huge and I realized I have to be content, just as we should be with many things.
I had a friend that moved “up” shall we say. I was thrilled and admired her house but she pointed out the things she didn’t like that I would have never noticed (sounds familiar?). She wanted to change this and that and lost that happiness that she had when they moved in. Her husband was in the area as she spoke hearing all the honeys do’s he that would eventually end up on his list. This conversation continued most of the time I was at her house. Within a few years they ended up losing their home and divorced. Now I’m not saying that her lack on being content resulted in that, but how sad that when she had it all she lacked a smile.
Content doesn’t mean settling but being satisfied and at peace.

Sorry

Saying I’m sorry - It’s hard to confront people, especially those close to you. But sometimes it lets them recognize their wrongdoing as well as you identifying your own. You have to choose your words wisely otherwise they will come back to haunt you and say nothing hurtful. Then of course "I’m sorry" is a great way to end it and move forward. I have had to do this many times and always felt better! This works much better if each person can admit their wrongdoing.
Not every situation is going to go that easily.
I have learned that you do not have to face anyone to say Im sorry, especially if you will no longer have them in your life. I was weighed down with a hurt that resulted from an ongoing family issue. Ultimately the 2 other people involved severed ties with me & my sister, which meant our families as well. Now this happens often with people but this was a parental relationship, so a little more wow factor. After the request to “stay out of our lives” (plus a few choice words) was made 3 separate times in 4 years I finally gave in and did just that. After a few months you finally move along and accept that this is the way it is.
Six months later I attended a Woman’s Retreat sponsored by our church. Many topics were discussed but one struck a cord, it was about fathers & forgiveness. I guess this occurs more often than I thought, but instantly I felt as though the words were for me. Those leading the retreat were looking for anyone who wanted to participate in a forgiveness exercise that involved you the person letting go of any hurt by forgiving the person who caused it. I was reassured that this didn’t mean you had to face them or have them in your life because I wanted neither. It was more for you getting rid of the burden and I did just that. It was much harder than I thought but I was relieved when it was done.
From that day on I no longer had this weight to carry around. I moved ahead with out looking back. Although I continue to not have a relationship with the 2 people I am better for it. As bad as it sounds to some but that only means you are blessed to have a positive bond with all others and you are better for it. I am better for having been through this because you have to learn from everything you go though otherwise you have wasted precious time.