Good Night Sleep Tight

Welcoming home a new baby brings on many new challenges and an overwhelming sense of responsibility. I can remember the first night we had our daughter home. Her room was directly across from ours, I could see right into it. I had her vintage Winnie the Pooh night light on, it had an orangy glow. I lay down to sleep and felt my chest heavy with worry. We were now accountable for her life. Of course we had the baby monitor and yes I would put it to my ear to listen to her breathe, then get up and check on her to make sure the monitor was working, occasionally tap her to still make sure she was okay. I think all new parents do that.

While on maternity leave I found it easier to have her in bed with me for a nap, but soon realized that fears would not let me sleep because I was afraid of rolling over on her, her getting lost under a pillow, in the comforter, you name it. So from then on she never slept in our bed. Over time I realized this was the best decision because once you start that habit it may be hard to stop. I know quite a few people who have older kids that still wander into their bed. This can affect many things aside from sleep. My advice is to not start it. Having the kid’s camp out on a Sunday morning is completely different then having them crawl into bed with you on a regular basis. Good night!

The Ol' Vi-vi

My son was a pacifier baby, or as he called it “Vi-vi” - where that came from I have no idea. But he loved his and like many parents we had many back ups just in case. After some time the Vi-vi was no longer cute looking and not just used to calm him down, it was something he relied on and looked for. We decided that it was time to get rid of it when he was around 2-3yrs. old. My son understood when things were broken so we went with that, cutting the tips off each Vi-vi without his knowledge. When he went on his daily hunt to collect them, sometimes sucking on each one just for a little while before going to the next one, he looked at the first one with a very funny look. He then looked at me to say “Vi-vi broke”, I agreed and he threw it away, then on to the next. This continued until he realized they were all gone. In the days following he shed his tears and called out for them, but I reminded him they were broke. Like all other habits in a small child he soon forgot and moved along without the Vi-vi. This is not going to work on everyone, maybe no one but my son, but whatever you do remember they will not take it to college!

Christmas

Having a baby at Christmas time is just the icing on the cake. But when your baby is discovering new stuff you have to watch out during the holiday season since so many extra things are put out. My daughter’s 1st Christmas she was almost a year since she was born the January before. I decided to put my living room tree up on a table making it touch the ceiling, and then left all my breakable and meaningful ornaments off. It’s just one year and if I can do it so can you. Keep in mind that many things have little pieces and add some lights and you have an area screaming “come touch me” to a small child.
Don’t forget to get a baby’s 1st Christmas or some type of ornament for the new member of the family. I get my kids an ornament each year that kind of represent that year – one year my son was into “Arthur”, so I found him with snowflakes, of course that fad left but he still enjoys talking about it when the ornament is opened each year.

Labor & Delivery

First, it’s called labor for a reason. It is perfectly natural to be nervous about the upcoming birth of your child knowing you alone will be pushing him/her into the world. Of course it can go many ways, as long as you end up with a healthy baby it is all worth it.
My first pregnancy was text book to a point. Once I was over the initial scares that went along with my own health things progressed as they should. My weight gain was right on target and I remained active far into my 8th month. One night I climbed on my kitchen counters and stencils cows. I would not recommend doing that at all while pregnant, nor would I recommend stenciling cows :). That was the only night my feet swelled, my husband wasn’t too happy about it either. After working a full day I continued my nightly walking routine with some friends and I truly think that had a lot to do with my delivery going so well.
We of course knew we would take part in the ever popular Lamaze class. Starting it meant the baby’s arrival was near which was exciting. The classes were helpful with tips, what to expect and things to pack that we didn’t think of. We, yes we, worked on breathing techniques and ways to relax. They encourage you to have a focal point during labor to concentrate on, show massage techniques (I knew I would take advantage of this one) and of course have you watch films.
Now most of you have probably seen “A Baby Story” and joyful programs like that but these videos were different. They showed women screaming at their spouse with their heads spinning several times around, all the while a baby’s head crowing, not to mention that it looks like a bloody pumpkin. I decided that it was best to look away beside it was truly making me ache in places I do not care to discuss.
I couldn’t wait for my water to break and constantly looked for any sign – a big gush running announcing “here comes the baby”…but it never happened. Two days before my daughters big arrival I worked all day with cramping. I had Braxton-Hicks for several months so I chalked it up as another set of those. The following day, a Friday, I called in because I just didn’t sleep much. Ever heard of nesting? Well oddly it’s true. I spent all Friday cleaning and organizing the house. Nothing else was out of the ordinary, and still no water fall.
That night my husband went fishing. I know your thinking – what a jerk! But my due date was still over 2 weeks away and I encouraged him to go, it was his 2nd love at the time. He came home and woke me up to share the great news of his big catch. Wow – just what I wanted to be woken up for. It was 2am and he asked me to take some photos, being the wonderful wife I am I obliged. Just as I push the old Polaroid button I got the strongest cramp that had me doubled over. After an hour of trying to sleep it off we were on our way to the hospital.
Being so uncomfortable I was worried they would send me home because I still was not due. Once in hospital bed I was checked by a nurse who informed me that I wasn’t that far dilated, however, my ammoniated sac was broke and probably had been for quite some time. No gush of water still but I had a leak!
After waiting for nature to take its course with no luck I was induced and encouraged to keep moving around to bring on labor. I can tell you by this time I was highly sensitive to smells. The alcohol on gauze taped to my arm smelled so bad, bad like hangover alcohol yuk smell, I tore it off and threw it down in the hallway during my encouraged walk. Let me tell you, the walks - they suck too...who wants to have their entire body cramping to get a baby out while taking a stroll?
Now inducing doesn’t necessarily mean you will be having you baby ASAP. Everyone is different. I was the ASAP though. Before long we were blowing and breathing in patterns that everyone else seemed to remember except me. My midwife and husband were in unison like a song with me trailing behind totally off beat. Message? Well my body was so aware of everything that any extra touch was too much so I lost out on that benefit.
Then finally my baby girl arrived, screaming, bloody and red but she couldn’t have been any more beautiful.
With my 2nd pregnancy we decided to skip the lamaze classes. For one we already went through with it, another I now had a 3 ½ year old to tend to. Keep in mind – you can never compare kids even when pregnant. Everything I expected didn’t happen; it was all new this time. The 9 months were long and very hard on my body. I was on bed rest and miserable. When we went to bring my baby boy into the world I was overdue.
This time I had a focal point – a picture of a woman holding her baby with a saying. At the time I could care less what the quote was I just focused. I went to the dr. earlier in the day and was told “see you next week”. I could have cried I was so uncomfortable and had a hard time breathing. Within a few hours contractions came on and were close together. We were only allowed to stay in the hospital because no one was on the floor and I lived 2 towns south.
Once again smells got to me. The nurse had so much perfume on it made me want to vomit. Attention nurses on the maternity floor – we don’t care that you smell good or sexy, we care that you don’t smell.
My midwife told the hospital staff she would stop by after her day at the office. Well I was glad to listen to my body because as soon as she sat down she said “we have the head crowing” with such a calmness. A few pushes and out he came. No bloody pumpkin thank God.
I delivered both babies natural with no pain medicine. I was somewhat fearful of the epidural (the reason will be in my health blog one day) so I never considered it. Honestly, once you hold your child all your pain is gone…at least for that moment. Enjoy the moment no matter how you get there!

This is the same picture I focused on while delivering my son. Ironically that Christmas ‘House of Lloyd’ sold the same print. The quote says “I never understood the love of a mother, until I became one myself”
How true!

What's in a Name?

Naming your baby – luckily for both of my pregnancies once we picked a name it didn’t change and it wasn’t much of a disagreement between my husband and I. Although a few tears helped my case with my 2nd. Make sure the name you are considering sounds good with your last name. If you are a nickname person, which I am, think of what they may. Keep in mind ANY name can be made fun of…really, but do not pick one that will encourage mean nicknames. Mine was rhymed with many things: Cher the pear, doll with long hair, dare, where and so on. My last name was often messed up badly but I liked having a unique name. Not one of my teachers even pronounced it right at the start of the school year. I was use to it, but don’t make it so hard that no one can say it. Just because your mom or your husband mom choose to name her children after others in the family doesn’t mean you have to. It’s you kid.

Cher the doll with long hair

Am Puke

Morning Sickness – well for me ALL day sickness, at least in my first pregnancy. It was a good sign that things were as they should but it sucked! I ended up losing weight up until around 5 months along. Smells were the worst. One day at work I puked Sprite so much that I didn’t drink it for years, I like the Sprite in you, ya right! I tried to stick to very plain foods during those times and kept crackers on hand. Everyone had a cure for my morning sickness or some home remedy you just have to find what works for you and stick with it. I tried to stay cool, temperature wise, and not move around a lot. Signs coming on I didn’t take lightly and rested when needed. Well it took me almost fainting in line at the grocery line to listen to my body. My husband was not allowed to make any food that would smell to me, especially things from the ocean! I remember the month it was over…I pigged out, and ended up finally putting on weight.

Daycare, Don't Delay

Picking a Daycare is a hard decision to make so don’t wait until you are going back to work. I started my search while I was pregnant. I can tell you mothers intuition should be listened to. I went into some places and immediately turned around because I didn’t feel like that was the place for me to entrust my child to. Word of mouth is a great way to find out about a place. Once you narrow your choices drop in unannounced to look around (if you are allowed). See what the ratio is, how clean is the grounds inside and out, and are the workers loving. Find out what background they have – any licenses or degrees, if they are accepting new enrollment, restrictions, hours, up front fees for vacations times and what they provide, policy on accidents, what schools they go to AND days they are closed. Many people don’t realize a day care might follow a public school schedule. I worked with a girl who didn’t realize this and ended up having to cover the day after Thanksgiving, Good Friday and a few others she didn’t think about. In the end I was fortunate and never had to use a day care, I had lots of family to take advantage of. Now I have a deal worked out with my sister and a few friends – it covers every day of the week and we all benefit from it.

Cry Baby

Of course sooner or later your perfect baby will throw a temper tantrum. Don’t stress, we all go or went through them and the only eyes starting don’t matter. What’s more important is how you deal with it. You can allow it to ruin your good day or put you in a bad mood so be prepared. Make up a game, take out a backup toy that isn’t used often or better yet a snack. I always had reserve snacks in the back of my vehicle with a sippy cup and juice (of course I would not leave it in there long and replenish it often).

Advice

I may be repeating myself but oh well. My best advice as a mom is to write, take photos and film. Time goes by SO fast. So many funny things are said or done and you may mean to get it on a home video. Next thing you know the child has grown out of that stage. Date your photos!!! You may think you will remember when the picture was taken but give it a year and you might forget. Journaling is a great way to recap things. I love to sit at night when everyone is sleeping and read my old journals. It takes me back and the more detailed the better.

Advice I feel is important is a schedule. My brother lived with us for much of my son’s early years. He always said he would remember our schedule; our house was never chaotic but peaceful and quiet at night. Yes, I said quiet. We had a routine that we followed on work nights: the typical dinner, bath, reading, occasional game, brushing teeth and to bed early enough for the rest of us to have adult time.

Books for Mom

What to Expect When You’re Expecting
Every new mom should have this book. It is good reading and a great reference. It is packed full of useful information, answers to worries and questions you may never knew you had. Although I didn’t read any of the other editions I know they have quite a few choices out now.

Your Expecting...and everyone is happy!

Once you tell people that your pregnant get ready for all the advice, tips, recommendations and stories you can handle. Hopefully people keep their negative crap to themselves. I worked with many women so I was overwhelmed with all the things I should and shouldn’t do. They had me scared with my 1st pregnancy – don’t raise you arms, do not paint the room a certain color, don’t eat this, don’t eat that…and on and on. So my advice is to be strong and say how you feel, to everyone! It’s important for the new parents to do things they want to, not the way everyone else wants them to. You will regret giving in and you cannot change events that already take place.
For me it was important that aside from medical staff for just my husband and me to be there for the delivery of both of our children. We had many local family members that also wanted to be there, but we stood our ground and in the end they understood.
Since I gave birth to the first granddaughter you can imagine everyone wanted to dress her. She was born in January so by the time holidays rolled around I was given many dresses for the upcoming events. I too wanted to pick out her “firsts”, but then I had to be concerned about who I would hurt by not choosing their gift. To solve that I just went with my choices and used the others to fill in for: photos, Christmas Eve, to see Santa, then everyone was happy.
So discuss theses things between the 2 of you and stick together in your decisions.

Useful tips

*Before I had my daughter I read somewhere a good tip that I used. Many people lay their baby in the crib for a nap and make the whole house quite down…not a good idea. Those are the babies that wake when the littlest thing makes a peep. I’m not saying go out and bang pots and pans, but you can still watch TV, talk or clean. I think my mom must have done that and that is why I cannot sleep through any noise!
A picture is worth a thousand words, so why not make your baby his/her own picture book with photos of familiar faces? Both of my kids spent countless hours looking through their own book. I didn’t mind they got a lot of wear and tear because I used copies for them. Each page was laminated and then put on a binder ring that easily (for an adult) opened & closed; it was fastened to their stroller, shopping cart seat and many other places. Speaking of – do not let your child stand on the back of a shopping cart. My nephew did this, he and the cart flipped over and for a few scary moments he was out cold.

Baby Items You Have to Have

Great things to have – a Boppy pillow. These pillows are universal with so many uses. They are even comfortable for mom to rest her head in! If you are having a baby in a colder month a diaper wipe warmer comes in handy. While pregnant with my first, who was due in January and being in Florida, I laughed when I saw a warmer at the store. Well the week she was born the temperatures dipped into the 30’s and stayed that way for days. We soon purchased the warmer and used it many other times. Read up on them for safety and information. Black & White toys – yes it’s true that newborns respond to them better than all the fun colorful ones we buy. After seeing my daughter stare intently at a black & white picture we had, I went out and found a few cheap small toys. She would focus on them and track it if we moved them around. Diaper Genie – unless you do not mind the smell of used diapers. Of course the older the baby gets the more you go through the refills just make sure you buy the correct ones.

Boppy Pillow

Welcome Sibling

More than One – things to help prepare the older child
Before my son was born I took my daughter to pick out a present for the baby – she chose “Swinger” a Ty Pillow Buddy. We put it in a cute baby bag and kept it at her Grandmom’s because we knew that is where she would go when we went to the hospital. I also had a gift for her from the “baby”. She was thrilled that her new brother gave her a present too. I packed snacks & things for her to do because she was 3 ½ at the time and I knew she could become bored at the hospital quickly.
*When our son was born we called our daughter first. Then she got to share the news with everyone. Some family members brought her to the hospital. When they arrived we asked that everyone wait outside of the room while she met her brother. Once she was ready to introduce him then everyone else got to meet him.

Baby Ideas

Time goes by so fast when you become a parent and soon your little infant is no longer little. Before those moments are gone makes some keepsakes. Use nontoxic washable tempera paint to make a print of the baby’s foot. While the baby is in a seat paint the foot with a roller or sponge, then press firmly onto a piece of card stock and let dry. Oh yeah…don’t forget to wash off the babies foot. Also another easy thing to do is trace the baby’s hand from time to time, date it and use it on a scrapbook page.
A fun safe activity for toddlers indoors on a rainy day is to stack paper cups, like Dixie cups, in pyramids. Usually you get at least 50 in a box, which can make a pretty high structure and if they fall no one gets hurt.

Heading to the Hospital

Hospital tips – what to bring
Aside from the typical clothing & baby items don’t forget: List of phone numbers of all family members – you would be surprised at what you forget once that baby comes, cash – you may need it for a dad snack, a few diapers for the baby, the car seat, batteries as a back up for your camera, a disposable camera – just in case you forget your own this way at least you will have one, a nice nightgown, sports bra and good socks.
Tip – try the car seat before the baby arrives. Buckle it in, and then take it out so you are familiar with it.

Journaling

Journal – once you have your baby you realize that those 9 months went by fast and soon you are a parent. I kept a journal to document how I felt mentally, emotionally and physically. My journal was left out so I would remember and I tried to do it as often as I could. Each of my children has a journal of when I was pregnant with them so they can read and, in the future, compare it to the arrival of their own baby. I continued to write in both of their journals but as they got older it became less and less. I love to sit and read them from time to time, remembering all the funny stories and happy memories.

Pets

Pets – Well I really should call this “dogs” because that is all I have ever had, but some of this can apply to other animals. Think ahead - Don’t forget to make plans for your pets while you are in the hospital – set up a schedule of who will take care of them and leave all necessary information for them. The last thing you want to realize when seeing a baby being born is “Oh my….I forgot about the dogs!!!”
While pregnant with our first child we had 2 Rottweilers. Of course many people we knew were concerned because of the breed, but we knew our dogs and how great they were. We also knew that a baby in our home was something new. A few things we did to prepare them was first, add a gate to our (future) daughters bedroom. We bought one that the dogs could see through but high enough to keep them out. Most of our house had wood floors and her room was one of the few with carpet. Aside from dog hair we just didn’t want the dogs lying around in her room. So months later by the time she came home, they were use to not going into that room so it was nothing new by then. Another thing, which I read somewhere, is to wear the lotion you plan on using on the baby. This way the smell is not new when the baby is in the home.
*Check out K9s for more on dogs

My Angel Neeko